What do you think of me, iTunes?
David Bowie - Sunday
I would do well as a wanderer in an enigmatic, possibly post-apocalyptic world.
Will I have a happy life?
J. K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Disk 11, Track 9
No, because I will be beset by Quidditch accidents. Yes, because I will have house elves to do my every whim.
What do my friends really think of me?
Rent (Original Broadway Cast) - You'll See
I am, or will soon become, a cold-hearted bastard who has abandoned his ideals in favor of making money and who now wants to use his newly-acquired wealth to bribe his friends.
Do people secretly lust after me?
Dj Beyonder - Below the Floorboards
No, I'm too creepy. (Alternatively: In an empty house? In the middle of the night?)
How can I make myself happy?
The Beatles - I Want You (She's So Heavy)
By finding my one true lust.
What should I do with my life?
Gregorian Chant - Alleluia of the third Christmas Mass
Spend my days in quiet contemplation of deity.
Why must life be so full of pain?
Fleetwood Mac - Tusk
Because people don't ask enough questions, preferring instead to shout "Tusk!"
How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
The Cure - 10:15 Saturday Night
By sitting at home alone and angsting about my lack of a sex life.
Will I ever have children?
The Moody Blues - Dawning is the Day
Yes, but as a result of acting on instinct rather than conscious deliberation.
Will I die happy?
The Cure - Jumping Someone Else's Train
No, because I'm a fucking poseur.
Can you give me some advice?
Nobuo Uematsu - Wutai
I should go on a sightseeing trip through Asia somewhere. But I should watch out for pickpockets.
What do you think happiness is?
Douglas Adams - The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Chapter 21
Attending *really* *loud* rock concerts.
What's my favourite fetish?
The Beatles - Come Together