eyeoftomoe (eyeoftomoe) wrote,
eyeoftomoe
eyeoftomoe

The end

I think I'm going to quit going to Aikido. Over the two practices I've been to this semester, I found myself not enjoying it as much as I used to. Possibly the whole "being too busy to go" thing I did for the last half of last semester was just me not realizing I didn't want to go anymore. Somehow, this makes me feel absurdly guilty; possibly it's that I'd sworn I was going to go more this semester, or that I thought I was going to attend a few more sessions before deciding this, or just that I seem to be giving up. Whatever. Perhaps I'll sign up for Tai Chi again, now that I don't work Wednesday nights, just to give me *something* physical to do. That's much less of a time commitment, and since I have to pay money, I'll make myself go. I guess I'll be around more now, but in my current mood, somehow that doesn't seem like a bright side. Why am I a complete failure, and why is the back of my hand stuck to my forehead. Maybe I can cheer myself up by purchasing goods online with money I shouldn't be spending.
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you're not a failure. Making mature and practical choices when resources are limited is not failure. If anything, you're growing and maturing into a fun responsible adult and realizing you can't always do what you want... and knowing when to stop doing what you don't like. I wish you luck :). Do what you like there is little enough time in the world to waste it on unpleasurable experiences.
I don't think you're a failure. :-D Though you know what you should do if you're looking for something physical, is join the Brazilian jujitsu class. Justin and I are going and it starts tomorrow in Walker's MPR at 6. It's only one hour long once a week, so it's not that great a time commitment. So yeah, come join us; it'll be a great loosen-up right before game. :-D

And quitting something that don't want to do anymore doesn't render you a failure. I quit theatre!!! Me!!! I quit THEATRE for crying out loud!!! I don't think I'm a failure; I just got fed up and didn't want to do it. I had fun and now I need to do other things, namely bust my ass for an A in Old English. ;-D It's not failing, it's moving on.
Frankly I felt the time commitment involved in Aikido was disproportionate to the benefit I was getting out of it. I've been meaning to check out the Tai Chi class, the jujitsu class and maybe even the tae kwon do classes... maybe I'll see you there.
You have some idea how much respect and admiration I have for you as a person and a friend, right?
Life changes, and the discipline involved in regular training is often too rigid to change with us. 8 years, a little under half my lifespan was spend in martial arts training and it was something I really had to leave behind once I came to school. Having to walk away from a blackbelt and a dojo that was a permenant part of my lifestyle was hard. It feels pretty bad, like you're failing an letting go of something you worked at. But really being able and willing to adjust to life as it shifts around you is a success, not a failure.

The truth is, there are some parts of it you may lose, but there are others you never will. The strength might fade, but the reflexes and ways of moving stay with you indefinately. Training like that over any period of time significantly alters you mentaly and physically and it still remains part of you.

Excercise however you like. If you miss the human element, I'm always up for some friendly sparing (With swords or without). Just let me know ^_^

There are a lot of things to be happy about right now. Dont let this small one drag you down.